In a hastily called news conference this morning, President Obama signed into law Executive Order 1701-E-USSE.
This executive decree mandated within 6-months time all US broadcast must be in 3D.
He was quoted as saying, “We ain’t talkin’ about no 2D to 3D, pancakin’, card board conversions. The US public deserves the real thing.”
When asked why he used his emergency decree power, he was heard to reply, “because I can!”.
In further developments at the White House, James Cameron was named Secretary of the 3D State. This new post will oversee the “roundness” of all 3D. When contacted for quote, Cameron in his newly designed office in the Mariana Trench said, “I can’t wait to get started, send the sub and get me out of here!”.
In a related news story, Vice President Joe Biden, injured several members of the newly formed 3D press core as he was demonstrating what 3D was like with his outstretched arms with two fingers pointed at the eyes of select members of the new press core. Not being 3D savvy, they failed to employ the famous “Curly block”, made famous by the 3 Stooges icon, Curly Howard. Strange as it may seem, all of the reporters injured had posted stories about how 3D was dead. This maybe a coincidence but we think not!
As expected, members of the opposition Republican party cried foul. “We like our 2D TV like we like our women, flat and boring.” We are questioning the Republicans now to make sure that we heard their message properly.
More on this story as details become available.